


I Never Feel Enough

by Nakta



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Choi San, Bullying, Cuckolding, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mild Language, Sub Choi San, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Jeong Yunho, Top Jung Wooyoung, Top Park Seonghwa, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:53:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23389066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakta/pseuds/Nakta
Summary: Yunho is given a challenge: to humiliate San by stealing his girlfriend and manipulate him into fucking Yunho's friends. Little did he know that that through this challenge he'd unvail a dark past between Seonghwa, his friend, and San, the boy he used to bully.OREx-bully and now playboy Yunho realizes his feelings for San as he comes to terms with his sexualityORAngry/emotional Yunsan sex + past Seongsan + SeongWooSan threesome
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung/Park Seonghwa, Choi San/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 34
Kudos: 142





	1. I'll never have control

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, just want to put a trigger warning before reading this  
> -There will be some graphic violence, bullying and dubious consent included  
> -The portrayals of these people are out of character, not a real depiction of what they're like.  
> -Homophobic slurs  
> Overall it'll be a bit dark so if you're not into that, maybe skip this one? I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable reading something they didn't intend to  
> Not beta read, might have some typos.
> 
> Hope you like it! I'll update this work within a few days

All Yunho could hear was a quiet, choked out sob and a few quiet giggles around him. Looking down at his feet, he almost felt sorry for what he did.  
There, on the ground clutching his ear lay a defeated, whimpering, bleeding Choi San.

"Stop being such a damn baby, it's literally nothing." Yunho spit out in disgust, whilst kneeling next to his head. He placed San's head on his lap, forcefully pulling his hands away from his ear.  
The smell of blood became much stronger.  
He wiped off some of the blood roughly, looking for the two new piercings he himself put on San using a little bit of force, some friends to hold him down, and a stapler.

"Pass me the earring"  
Seonghwa came out of the small group of people that stood in a circle around the two. He handed over two earrings, one being his own.

"Don't fucking squirming around, or do you wanna tear this hole open too, fag?"

And San, poor innocent San just couldn't understand what he did to make his middle school best friend turn into his highschool bully..

He lay on the bathroom floor alone, two earrings decorating his left earlobe, blood dried on his face. He could hear footsteps coming closer to where he lay.  
He prayed it wasn't Yunho, and to his luck, it wasn't. Although, he recognised the boy as one of Yunho's friends.  
The boy shushed him and gently pet his hair, trying to reasure him that "it's okay, I won't hurt you."

San looked up at the other and he felt his heart oddly skip a beat. He couldn't help but notice how handsome the boy was. 

He felt his hand move from his hair to his lower back. He felt the other's cold hand sliding underneeth his shirt, the touch sending elecriticy through his body..

The boy smirked "Don't worry, I'll be so, so good to you.."

….

“He's so fucking pretty" said Wooyoung, leaning back on his chair and taking a generous gulp of his cocktail.

And even through his burning hatred for the other, Yunho couldn't help but agree. Not that he'd ever speak on it. The sight of San on the dance floor, swaying his hips seductively with his friends, wearing a bright smile on his face and a thin layer of sweat on his partially exposed body stirred something inside of Yunho.  
His pale skin that almost seemed to beg to be covered in bruises, his delicate figure, and over everything that smile..  
He can’t stand that smile. He never could.

It was Saturday night, he was currently at a club with Wooyoung, Mingi and Seonghwa. He and Seonghwa were old friends from high school, being the only two of their then clique to go to the same uni. He met Wooyoung and Mingi when he started college, although he felt like he'd known them his whole life.

Yunho turned to Wooyoung with a scoff.   
"I don’t understand what’s so great about him, he just looks like a common whore."  
Wooyoung raised an eyebrow and turned towards the other "That's what you think? To me he seems more like an innocent pure type guy with a bit of a wilder side."  
Yunho fake gagged "Ew what the hell, you got a hard on for him or something?"

"Oh shut up, you’d totally fuck him if you could.” Wooyoung said with a shit eating grin on his face. 

The taller flinched away, a disgusted look on his beautiful features, what Wooyoung said really touched a nerve "Why would l fuck some puny fag when I have all the girls on campus lined up to spread their legs for me?"

Oh yeah.. now that they're freshmen, Yunho had built a new reputation for himself. That of a fuckboy that would use girls for his pleasure and ditch them whenever.

Mingi half-drunkenly slammed his glass on the table “oh, right, heard you and Seonghwa were pretty mean to him in high school” he ended his sentence with a chuckle. 

Yunhos jaw tightened “Yeah doesn't matter much though, does it?” He turned to Seonghwa, looking for confirmation. He didn’t reply, the older was starting deeply at something, or rather someone.

He followed his eyes and his gaze ended up on San again, who was now dancing with... the hell?

“Heard the he got himself a girlfriend.” Said Seonghwa, still not breaking the intense stare. 

Yunhos expression soured.

“Huh? Doesn’t he play for the other team though?” asked Mingi. “Guess he plays for both. Weird.. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him interested in girls before though.” He giggled before raising his glass of wine to his lip, taking a sip before adding “Especially girls like that.” He looked at Yunho knowlingly.

“Hm?” Wooyoung turned his head towards the dance floor, where he saw a skimpily dressed girl dancing with the their current object of interest. Her arms around San’s shoulders and her breasts squished against his chest. Wooyoung took notice of his now red face and his trembling hands as they went around her waist. 

“Ugh.. Can we entrust our precious little Sannie to a girl like that?” Wooyoung said mockingly, trying to get a raise out of either of his slightly older friends.

“She’s as slutty as a slut can get.” Said Yunho matter-of-factly 

Wooyoung turned to him with a slightly mocking tone “And you know that how...?”

“Because I’ve slept with her before. Multiple times, quite recently too.” Said Yunho with a roll of his eyes

Wooyoung and Mingi choked on their drinks, Seonghwa couldn’t help the small smile that was creeping on his face.

“That’s one hell of a revelation right there”

“Bet he’d be so embarrassed if he found out, his high school bully’s screwing his first girlfriend, poetic, isn’t it?” chimed in Wooyoung.

“Even better would be his girlfriend finding out he likes getting fucked by guys” added the red head

“Ohh yeah, that would be awesome. Or it being demonstrated to her. I'd gladly volunteer to help show her his 'softer' side"

Seonghwa stays oddly quiet for a moment, before throwing out a question “Do you mean that Wooyoung? Would you really do him?”

Wooyoung looked at the other with a raised brow "Well yeah, have you seen him? Even if you're not into guys, can't deny that he's hot as hell"

"What about you, Mingi?"  
"Not really into guys, so I probably wouldn't join. But i'd be fine with watching guys go at it, especially if it involves shorty over there"

Yunho could feel his blood boiling  
He heard a mocking coo coming from Wooyoung "Is our little homophobe feeling grossed out?"  
"Can you just shut the hell up? It's whatever, you're into guys, what does it matter to me who you stick your dick in"

Mingi chuckled "That almost sounded like a non-homophobic thing to say"  
"Who says I'm a homophobe in the first place?"  
"Well one would think so if they heard you calling Choi San a faggot or a fuck hole every chance you had."  
Yunho lowered his head, he felt a pat on the back 

"How about we play a little game with our friend?" Seonghwa tilted his head, motioning towards San who was now sitting with his friends, his girlfriend oddly missing. 

He slapped Yunho's shoulder a few times "Since our friend has a thing going with San's girl, let's use this opportunity to make it a little clearer to San that, pussy really isn't for him."  
Wooyoung tilted his head "What are you suggesting?"  
"Let's convince our friend to have a threesome with us while our buddy Yunho over here fucks his girl."

Yunho spits out his drink  
"Fucking hell? How will you even do that? And why involve me in this?"  
Seonghwa's gaze turned a little icy "Because you hate him, right?"  
Yunho stood silent  
"Yeah.. right.. I'll think about it."  
"Great!" Wooyoung said with an excited clap "How will you manage to convince him though?"

A small smirk crawled up Seonghwa's features "I have my ways.. I know him and his body"  
Yunho felt something inside him crack "What do you mean by that?"  
Seonghwa tilted his head to the side, feeling a weird sense of pride burn inside him.  
"Oh? Didn't you ever notice? When you'd throw him around.. the hickies on his neck.."  
The older moved closer to the other, his lips now pressed against his ear "Don't tell Wooyoungie, but the only reason I'm thinking of a plan that involved sharing San, is because i've grown desperate. I miss him. I miss feeling up his curves. I miss his tears and his sweet moans. Miss the feeling of his tight little body around my cock-"

Yunho slammed his drink on the table hard. His expression unreadable  
"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"  
"Was it really all that important? You got to punch him around, and I got to fuck the sadness out of him afterwords"  
Yunho only noticed that he'd clenched his first when he felt blood dripping from his palms  
"What do you want from me?"  
The raven haired male couldn't help but show his amusement.  
"Fuck his girl, make sure he at least sees you stealing her away. Make sure his heart's broken, so then there's no doubt he'll come back to me."

Yunho contemplated the thought for a moment, feeling cornered he mumbled out a defeated "Okay.."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, the positive response I got from chapter 1 really motivated me to work harder for this one! I really hope you enjoy it, it's more than twice the length of the first one.  
> You'll get to see more of the backstory regarding Yunho's feelings, the relationdhip between San and Seonghwa etc.

"Okay guys, finish up here and bring the key to the teachers office later" said their middle school coach. He threw the key towards the two young boys, leaving the dressing room and closing the door behind him.  
He left Yunho alone with his then best friend, San.  
Things felt awkward around the two middle schoolers lately, although San didn't quite seem to notice it. He turned towards his slightly taller friend, wearing a bright smile on his face as he usually did.

To Yunho, there could never be enough words world to properly describe how much he adored that smile.

For as long as he’d known the other, he’d always loved the flash of his pearly white teeth and the joyous sounds that followed...He never thought much of it, just figured that his best friends happiness rubbed off on him, but lately, he found that the way he saw San’s smile had changed.  
He couldn't help noticing how pretty his lips looked stretched out, how pink and full they always were, how tempting they looked when his friends small tongue poked out and covered them with a sheen coat of glossy saliva…

He didn't like the way his best friend made his body react.

"Isn't coach Lee getting a lot nicer lately? " said San, pulling Yunho away from his thoughts and back into reality. Yunho's gaze found the shorter of the two lifting his shirt up, revealing before Yunho's hungry eyes beautiful, soft, unmarked skin. Yunho couldn't look away from the others neck, his chest, his nipples that seemed way to pink to belong to a guy.  
San bent over, taking off his shorts.  
His milky thighs had his friend enamored. His hands itched to touch them...

Then, something changed.  
Within a split second, he saw his childhood best friend age, he grew into a young man. His jet-black hair now adorned by a bleached streak of white.  
This San turned to him with a sweet yet mischievous smile plastered on his face.  
Still naked, he wrapped his arms around Yunho's shoulders and rested his head against the taller’s chest.

"How nice of coach Lee, to leave us alone like this" He felt San's body sliding against his, he dropped to his knees in front of him.  
"I've been wanting you for so long, finally, finally I get to have you" came Sans voice, thick in desire and desperation, looking up to him through thick eyelashes and glossy, teary eyes.  
San nuzzled his cheek so lovingly over the blondes clothed cock, as if he truly, always longed for it. Small moans kept escaping his lips. He mouthed over it, biting lightly, leaving broad licks over it. His eyes gleamed with an excitement Yunho had never seen on the other.  
Slowly, he tucked down Yunho's pants and underwear, letting his painfully hard erection free. San's eyes were fixed on the sight in front of him, mouth hung wide opened with an empty-minded smile tugging the corners up. Drool hit his chest.  
"It's so beautiful, Yunnie, l want it inside me so bad.." he said while tracing one of the thick veins on his shaft with his fingertip.  
San wrapped his hand around it so gently, as if it was truly the most precious thing he'd ever laid eyes on.  
His small hands made such a pretty contrast to Yunho's girthy, lengthy cock. Yunho felt himself twitch as he felt the heat of Sans breath on his bare skin. He saw those pretty lips come closer, planting sweet kisses along the shaft. Sans tongue poked out giving his swollen tip small, kittenish licks, lapping up the precum that was leaking out of him like a faucet.  
Fuck, how he wanted this... he felt air leave his lungs when those pretty pink lips finally wrapped themselves around his cock-

Yunho woke up panting and drenched in sweat. He let out a frustrated groan. Fuck... he dreamt about him again..

As he blinked his sleepiness away from his eyes, he realized what state his body was in.  
He was rock hard whilst still inside his last night's hook up.

It felt wrong, everything about him felt wrong.

He sighed and rested his hand on her hip, trying to twist her legs away to pull out.  
That's when she started to shift around, waking up after no doubt feeling the hot, pulsing cock inside her.  
She moaned "oh god.. yes, please, fuck me again, love your cock so much.. So hard for me like this.." her voice was muffled from the sleep that still hadn't fully left her, yet still Yunho could tell she was forcing it to sound more attractive. She clenched around him, fucking herself back on his cock.  
Her words disgusted Yunho. Did... she really think she's the reason of his arousal? Gross... Though the real reason of his body's reaction didn't disgust him any less, at least, that's what his conscious thoughts told him. He could feel tears welling up in his still sleepy, glossed over eyes, why him, why him, why him why him.  
He started rocking his hips, fucking fast and hard inside the random woman he picked up for the night. He threw his arm around around her, feeling disgusted when he felt a pair of mushy breasts against his palm. He withdrew his hand quickly and turned her on her stomach. He hated her high-pitched fake moans.  
He tried so hard to block out and ignore all the sounds coming from her, to disconnect himself from the body under him and concentrate on chasing his own pleasure. He stuck two fingers inside her mouth, his brain rejecting the sounds coming from her. In this state, his blank mind offered him someone else’s image. He imagined another body under him, a much firmer one that somehow still looked just as delicate. He imagined a tiny waist, long legs and narrow hips. He thought about what his soft face would look like when twisted with an expression of pleasure, what his voice would sound like calling out his name. He imagined how that black hair (now decorated with a white streak) would feel on his fingertips.  
He reached forwards in search of that mop of hair, only to painfully be brought back to the reality. Instead of what his subconscious mind was looking for, he found annoyingly long, blonde locks.

He couldn't.  
He couldn't allow himself to think about him. Not Choi San. Not now. Not ever.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek, he hated this, he hated the feeling of a woman under him, hated who he was, and most importantly, he hated Choi San.  
Hated him for making him feel this way.  
....

Monday morning, Yunho, Wooyoung, Mingi and Seonghwa had gathered up at the dorm room Mingi and Seonghwa shared to have breakfast together. Yunho quietly set the table while Seonghwa cooked for them. Mingi and Wooyoung were jumping around on the couch, having gotten way too into a game of cham-cham-cham. Their laughs and screams filled the room, as did the smell of the eggs Seonghwa was cooking.  
"Ya! This this is weird!"  
"No it's not you just suck at cham-cham-cham" clapped back Wooyoung  
"No, listen! I don't! I've never lost a game of cham cham cham since birth this isn't normal!" Said Mingi, feeling competitive.

It wasn't uncommon for them to be get so loud first thing in the morning, what was uncommon though, was Yunho not joining them. Most days he had similar high energy, but today wasn't most days, and Wooyoung started realizing that.

Wooyoung threw a pillow, aiming towards Mingi. The latter ducked and the pillow ended up hitting Yunho in the face.  
Oddly enough, he didn't react. He just numbly threw it back at Wooyoung.

Wooyoung sat up, looking at the other with a confused expression "What's up with you today? Didn't sleep well or something?"  
Mingi giggled "Maybe he just didn't sleep at all, our guy's pretty busy if you know what I mean" he said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows, his statement said in a teasing sort of manner.

Yunho sighed "Sorta, I ended up kicking her out before coming here, I don’t know why but she just really got on my nerves" that wasn't the full story, though of course he wouldn't dare bring those details up.

They sat around the now full table as they continued their conversation  
Wooyoung tiled his head "You angry? That's not very common."  
Mingi chimed in, his mouth full of food "Yeah, other than that San guy I don't think I've ever seen you get properly mad at someone"

Yunho tsked at the mention of the other. Mingi clapped his hands and pointed an accusatory finger towards Yunho "See? There he goes again. What did that guy even do to you, he seems alright to me."  
Wooyoung interrupted "Ya, hold on that doesn't matter much, Seonghwa-hyung-" he got the elder’s attention, who thus far hadn't been speaking much. Seonghwa looked up from his plate. "Hyungie what do you have in mind about him exactly?"  
Seonghwa smirked around a fork full of food "Nothing all that special really" the sound of his voice, for some reason really disturbed Yunho.

It was weird, this wasn't the Seonghwa that Yunho has always known..  
Back in high school, sure the two of them were friends, but they were never all that close. Seonghwa was more of a strong silent type who didn't socialize all that much, Yunho wasn't quite sure when the two of them became friends.

He could tell that something about San really seemed to bring out a more, sinister part of him... He'd never seen this sort of behavior coming from him, and now that he has, he wondered if he always was like that.

He thought about what Seonghwa shared with him a couple nights prior.  
Those two were fucking around all along, and Yunho never knew... Thinking back, it made sense somehow.

He didn't have any memories of Seonghwa ever physically hurting San like he and his other friends would, although he was always there. He remembered always seeing strange marks.. love bites... on San's skin, which was quite strange. San didn't have any relationships in high school, at least, not to Yunho's or anyone’s knowledge. Those marks just served to fuel his anger and were violently pushed to the back of Yunho's mind, forcing him not to dwell on them.  
More than anything, San never seemed afraid around Seonghwa. Even though Seonghwa didn’t physically hurt him, he never protected him either. How did they even manage to become lovers like that... Why would San allow someone who constantly saw him getting hurt touch him like that..  
Was he... always as manipulative as he's showing himself to be now..  
Did he have this intimidating aura when he was alone with san and..  
'Ahhhhh Jeong Yunho, snap out of it, it doesn't matter, it doesn't fucking matter'  
Yunho rested his face on his palm with a pout. 'Doesn’t matter…'

Wooyoung snapped his fingers in front of his face, bring his attention back into their conversation "There we go, he's back from dreamland" said Wooyoung with a giggle.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that."

Seonghwa snickered as he glanced over at Yunho, seemingly feeling his inner conflict, almost as if he could read his thoughts. He cleared his throat "Well, Yunho only found out recently, but I sorta had a thing going on with San in high school"

Mingi and Wooyoung's eyes widened "And you were planning to tell us when exactly???"

Seonghwa laughed "It's not really all that important, all you need to know is that San is a very, very emotionally dependent guy"

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow "What does that mean for us?"

Seonghwa smiled "It means that he's not doing well right now. I used to be a clutch that he depended on when he felt himself break. He hasn't found a replacement yet, it's way too soon for him to do so."

Mingi looked at him with a confused expression "I don't think I get what you're trying to say.."

"I'm saying he's not over me, he feels lonely, and that's why he got himself a girlfriend. He'd come back in a heartbeat if given the chance, but his morals "not to cheat" on Sohee are stronger than his desperation right now. Once Yunho gets Sohee out of the picture and San starts feeling sad, he'll come back."

Seonghwa looks down at his food for a moment, in deep thoughts, replaying memories in his head.

"When he starts to feel like that, broken, hurt, he accepts everything."

Those words, they send shivers down Yunho's spine, and somewhere deep down his soul, he couldn't help thinking...  
'San... what did he do to you..'

Wooyoung blushed, letting out a "Sounds fine by me, Mingi what do you think?"

The other shrugged "As I said, I'm not joining so you guys do your thing"

The eldest of the four of them leaned back on his chair, a content smile on his face "I can't wait to have him again"

Yunho felt an inner turmoil boiling within him  
"How do you know for sure?"  
Seonghwa turned to the other with interest and confusion "How do I know what?"  
"That he'll accept"  
Seonghwa smiled, as if that was the simplest question anyone could have made him.  
"Because I know him"

"What's in this for me?" Yunho rose his head, looking at Seonghwa dead in the eyes.  
"You want me to be the catalyst of San's heartbreak and have sex with Sohee. I agreed. I will do it. But why did you ask me? What's in this for me?"

Seonghwa tiled his head to one side and chuckled "You get to hurt San and another hook up, isn't that all you could ask for Yunho?"

Yunho looked down at his plate, feeling guilt crawl up on him, did he really think that..? "Yeah, that’s right..."

Seonghwa patted the others shoulder "Glad we're on the same page. He and Sohee are going to Jackson's party this Friday."  
...

2:07 AM, Wednesday, Yunho couldn't sleep.  
The last 2 nights were oddly restless for him. He couldn't stop thinking about him and he almost wanted to punch himself because of it.

He thought about the dream he had some nights ago. It was a memory, well, partially. In reality, that situation didn't end the way his dream ended.  
It ended with Yunho getting an awkward boner, San noticing it, the taller of the two pushing the other and causing him to fall. The view of a nearly fully naked San on the floor, looking up at him like a kicked puppy didn't do anything to help his situation.  
Yunho stormed out of the locker room, feeling embarrassed, humiliated and on top of everything, scared.

From that point on, he felt like something in him changed. He started noticing things that he hadn't noticed before, or at least hadn't paid much attention to before. He didn't get excited the way his friends would when they'd see pictures of naked women on magazines. He didn't find women appealing, if anything, over time, he realized that he had a different interest towards guy, more specifically, San.

Thoughts of him couldn't leave his head. They'd repeat over and over as his newly adolescent body demanded his attention. He couldn't help whimpering with his hand wrapped around his cock, over time getting braver and saying his name as he fantasized about fucking his best friend.

That's when issues started happening for him... All his life, he was taught that homosexuality was wrong, that it was disgusting, it was a sin, and only the dirty would indulge in it. When his father (his only family) found out he was interested in a guy, he beat Yunho to a bloody pulp. "No child of mine will turn out a fag, I’d prefer you dead over gay."

The anger he felt towards himself for disappointing his dad, for being something he's not supposed to be, eventually turned to anger towards San.

For months he avoided him, never giving him an explanation about his sudden change. Of course, San tried hard to mend their friendship and get a word out of the other, but all that would come out of those conversations would be a crying San and a pained Yunho. He almost hated himself for it. He never saw San smile anymore. 

The smile he loved so much, had he killed it...?

Yunho decided that he would fix things between them. He deeply regretted treating San the way he did, after all, he didn't do anything wrong.  
He decided that he would talk to San on their middle school graduation party. It would be the last time they could see each other before summer break started.  
It was a small celebration, only serving as a symbol for them starting a new phase of their life, but to the young teens it was an important night non the less.  
Throughout the night, Yunho had one goal; to find San and give him a proper apology.

He did find him eventually, but not in the state that he would have preferred.  
He found San in one of the classroom, eyes closed, his face blushing a bright red, kissing one of the boys from their grade year… Hongjoong, was it?

Hongjoong held the back of his neck as he kissed San. It was as innocent as a kiss gets, a soft peck, though it was filled with blossoming emotions on both of their parts. From where he was, Yunho could see Hongjoong's face clearer than Sans. He was looking at the other with such soft, love struck eyes. Yunho wanted to rip his eyes out of his skull.

And that's when he heard it, a soft, shy giggle coming from San. He saw that smile again for the first time in so many months, and it wasn't directed at him. No, it was directed at some idiot who stole Sans first kiss away from him.  
That smile gave him a feeling of burning hatred he'd never felt before.

'It wasn't my fault, it was yours. You're the reason I’m in pain. You're the reason my father hates me. You're the reason I hate myself. And I hate you for it'

'I'll hurt you, Choi San. Mark my words, I'll make your life miserable.'

2:34 AM, Wednesday, Yunho lay in bed, still awake with tears in his eyes. He decided he would sneak off and go into the nearby dance studio. If he was lucky, the keeper would have forgotten it opened again. He needed to blow off some steam.  
...

He entered the building quietly, sending a silent prayer to god that the door to the particular room he came for was opened.

He silently celebrated his victory when he noticed that it was, but the lights were on, someone must already be in there.  
He entered cautiously, but any worries he previously had left when he saw that there was only one guy in there. He danced with finesse, power, control of himself, yet at the same time there was something so soft and vulnerable in the way he moved. It was as if the other was pouring his soul out through his body. Yunho could feel the music flowing through him despite not hearing it. He took notice of the others slender legs and small waist, something about the guy felt familiar..  
The other took his headphones out of his ears as he noticed someone's silhouette entering the studio.  
The mysterious guy turned around and, Yunho almost felt like he was kicked in the stomach.  
Looking back at him through wet eyelashes and tear stained cheeks was, the reason of his inner turmoil.  
Choi San.

BONUS  
San and Seonghwa kept in touch with one another, though only ever texting a few times a month.

Hwa: Hey Sannie, you know Jung Wooyoung right? He's in your major

San: of course, what about him?

Hwa: He is, he's quite handsome, isn't he?

San: Yeaah haha can't really miss that (^//^)

Hwa: oh.. someone's being honest today.. Well then, let me ask you this

Hwa: Have you ever seen him similarly to how you see me..?

San: Hyung.. l.. I can't really answer that.. I barely even talk to him so there's no point in talking about that

Hwa: He said he's interested in you

San: Oh.. I see.. I'm flattered that someone like him would take an interest in me but, Hyung I'm in a relationship right now..

Hwa: would you let him fuck you?

San: Hyung.. you can't just ask me like that..

Hwa: Would you?

San: ...

San: I don't know.. maybe.. I think I might..

San: Forget I said that, I wouldn't. I'm so sorry, I can't play with Sohee like that, no matter what people say she doesn't deserve to be hurt like that..

Hwa: You know she’s just messing with you, right?

San: I know.. But that doesn’t make it right for me to cheat on her.. Real feelings or not, she would be hurt by it..

Hwa: Why are you with her when neither of you like each other that much?

Hwa: Tell me the truth. Are you feeling lonely?

San: yeah...

Hwa: Why her though, aren’t those friends of yours enough?

San: They’re amazing hyung, I can’t describe how much I love them and how grateful I am to have them, but..

Hwa: Yeah, I get it. If that’s the case then just take a word of advice from me, don’t trust her too much. She might seem fine now, but Sohee’s not as kind of a person as you. She can and will hurt you

San: Okay..Thank you for caring about me, hyung…

Hwa: Of course, no matter what you'll always be my baby

San: please don't say that…

Hwa: Why, you know it’s true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. What do you think? I'd really appreciate it if you guys left a comment with your impressions on this chapter. The next one will be the "grand finale"and it'll probably be longer than this one. I'm thinking about making a bonus chapter after the end though. Please expect the next chapter some time between 3-7 days from now


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING, this chapter contains sexual objectification, homophobic language, emotional manipulation and dubious consent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for taking so long to update, I hit a few stumps writing this. This chapter has part of the Woosanhwa threesome. The next chapter will have even more smut and the actual conclusion to this story.

Sometimes, San wondered what kind of person he was in his previous life. He wondered if he did something horrendous, and his continuous bad luck was a divine punishment for something he did.

His faith in the good in people was weltering, no matter how hard he tried to keep it alive. He blamed himself for his inability to hold onto his personal relationships, he blamed himself for his ruined friendships, his ruined relationships with his family, the few lovers he had, the co-workers and acquaintances he had. It had come to a point where he felt like he didn't deserve to have them, didn't deserve respect, didn't deserve love.

As he danced rigidly, alone at a dance studio past 2 AM, he thought about all the things that were going wrong lately.  
He thought about the huge fight he had recently with his close friend and roommate, Yeosang. He thought about how his already ruined relationship with his brother, his only family member left, Jongho, kept getting worse and worse. He thought about his inability to make any meaningful friendships after starting college, his failing relationship that shouldn't have started in the first place, he thought about an offer he was given recently, and how he almost accepted it.

San couldn't help but cry. He let his tears flow as he danced to the quiet beat of the music.

He failed himself, and that's not even the worst of it. He hurt people, he pushed people he loved away from him by being the worthless person he is. That's what he thought, and he couldn't forgive himself for it. He felt like he needed to be punished.

How badly he craved to feel loved. He wanted to trust, to love, to show his true self to someone, but he felt like he'd never have the chance to do that.

Because Choi San's fear of hurting and being hurt far exceeded his desire to love and be loved.

San snapped out of his train of thoughts when he saw someone entering the room.

His eyes widened upon seeing the other, felt like his stomach felt like it just turned upside down. Jeong Yunho, of all people. That's who ran into him.  
The other's reaction was rather similar to his own (although his expression held an undertone of anger, while Sans, no matter how much he tried to hide it, held fear)  
There he was, in the flesh, the main contributor to the “Let’s make San’s life hell” agenda. The friend that betrayed his trust, tormented him for years, hurt him in more ways than he cared to describe and forced others into doing the same.  
Suddenly, San was all too aware of the sweat drenched clothes that hugged his body and the hot tears burning his cheeks.  
The other looked him up and down with an expression San couldn’t decipher. All too suddenly, Yunho broke the awkward silence between them  
“What are you doing here at ass o’clock in the morning?”  
If this would have come from anyone else, San would have a few choice words to spit back, but the sheer presence of Jeong Yunho made him far too nervous to think straight. His eyes darted back and forth, looking at the floor, the different corners of the room, anywhere but at the man in front of him.  
“Oh.. well-um.. S-sorry, I just..sorry..I’ll, I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for bothering you-“ He bent over to pick up his backpack and leave. He felt Yunho’s burning gaze behind his back.   
San dared to look at the other, his expression no longer as confusing as it was before.. his scowl wasn’t as deep and, well, as hatred-filled as it usually was. The sight gave San the slightest bit of hope that he might come out of this situation unscathed.  
“…”  
“Stay. I was about to practice this choreography anyway.” The sentence sounded more like a command than a suggestion, and San couldn’t bring himself to say no.  
Reluctantly he dropped his things back on the floor before continuing to dance, now slightly more smoothly than before.  
He almost appreciated the others presence, his sudden arrival snapped him out of some pretty bad thoughts. Although still he was hyperaware of his surroundings, of Yunho. Once in a while, he’d glance at him. San noticed.. well.. at those attractive qualities of Yunho that he was already aware of. It had been a while since he saw them so closely. Somehow, Yunho seemed even taller than he remembered him to be, shoulders broader, body lean and face handsome yet deceptively soft. San was acutely aware of how attractive he is, and despite him not liking the thought, it’s something he accepted in himself.   
He shouldn’t like Yunho, not with the history they had. San should despise him and yet, he couldn’t help but have a bit off affection for the guy that was his best friend and his very first crush.

About 40 minutes after they started practicing, they were both exhausted, drenched in sweat and lying on the floor. San turned his head to his right, seeing Yunho inhale quick and shallow breaths, his chest rising and falling, he couldn’t take his eyes off of a particularly thick sweat drip that travelled down his neck..  
Yunho turned his head towards him and caught him staring. Instead of what San expected (which was a scoff, a punch or an insult) Yunho gave the other a small, teasing smile, as if he caught a child with his hand inside the cookie jar.  
San felt a blush of embarrassment crawl up his cheeks and broke off their eye contact. He swiftly got up and headed towards the door, not going out before turning towards the other, albeit not looking at him in the eye “I’ll be right back..” 

Yunho sat cross legged while waiting for the other, he really, truly, didn’t know what to feel… He always held so much hatred towards the other, yet when he saw San crying.. when he saw the other cower in fear of him.. he looked so.. vulnerable.. He’d seen him cry so many times that after a while, Sans tears didn’t make him feel remorse anymore. Granted at that time he knew that he was the sole reason for his tears. With him not bothering the shorter anymore, he couldn’t help wondering what exactly made him cry like that..  
Before he could dwell too hard in his thoughts, San came back, holding two bottles of lime-flavored water, his own already opened and half drunk. He kneeled on the floor next to Yunho, extending one of the bottles towards him with a shaky hand “H-here..” he couldn’t manage to say anything more than that, his words caught in his throat out of the fear he had of some sudden outburst. It never came.   
“Thank you” He said.  
“This used to be my favorite drink.” Said Yunho in a matter of fact way, to which San nodded, still not raising his eyes from the floor.  
“And you still remember that.” San nodded once again. Something about the gesture bothered Yunho.  
Even after all this time, San was still trying to make amends with him.  
He grabbed the others chin and tilted his head up, causing San to dump his half full water bottle on his shirt. “Won’t you fucking look at me in the eyes for once?” his voice wasn’t harsh, yet it was still firm and somewhat agitated. It made San shiver, not daring to break off the eye contact. Yunho’s stare was so intense, he felt like the other could see into his very soul. San broke off their eye contact, looking over to the side and soon after closing his eyes.  
Yunho’s eyes traveled down San’s body, taking in the sight that was San’s now drenched shirt sticking to his pale torso, accentuating his curves and letting his nipples show through. Yunho couldn’t rip his eyes off of him, he felt that burning heat inside him again. 

For a split second, Yunho could swear he heard his fathers voice yelling (“You’re a fucking disgrace Yunho, you and that filthy Choi bastard. I’d kill you both if I could, send you straight to hell where you belong”) yeah, that one always stuck with him.  
“Look at you, you’re so fucking disgusting for having a body like this. Are you even real man? Hm?” Yunho pushed San on his back, effectively pinning him down. The other squirmed around, unable to overpower him.  
"Maybe you really aren’t. Is that why whored yourself out to Seonghw-” “NO!” The other burst out “D-Don’t talk about him like that! Hyung is a kind man! He cared about me, he was the only one that was there for me, so don’t you dare...” San looked at him through reddened, tear filled eyes. For the first time in all these years, Yunho saw a look of anger directed towards him. he had to laugh. That’s what made San tick? Insulting that fucking jerk that manipulated him? The one that talks about him like he’s nothing more than a toy to fuck? That’s who he’s fighting to defend? What a joke.  
Yunho pinned his wrists in a tight grip over his head. He let his other hand caress San’s tear stained cheek, taking notice of the way his body quivered. San didn’t move an inch. Yunho’s hand traveled down his neck to his chest, his fingers brushing his sensitive buds along the way. He felt the deep curve of his waist, the curve of his hips and ended with a firm grip of his ass. Yunho felt something solid brush against his thigh. 

He couldn’t help the bubbling laugh that came to him “Look at you, should have expected a whores body to react like this.” Tears started falling again “N-no.. m’ not.. like that..!” His whole face had turned red, down to his neck. Yunho scoffed and lowered his head, so that it was right next to San’s ear “I don’t think you’re being honest, just admit it, you’re nothing but a fuck hole, aren’t you?” Yunho wrapped both of his hands around the others throat, effectively choking him. San clawed on the others hands, drool dripping down the corner of his mouth as he did so. Quicker than he thought, Yunho let go of him, instead replacing that pain with something San hadn’t expected. He bit him. Hard. On the conjunction between San’s neck and right shoulder. San let out a scream that he himself quickly controlled. At that moment, he remembered all the times Yunho would beat him and how the pain would become so much worse if he made any noise he deemed too loud. He felt Yunho’s lips turn up into what was undoubtedly a smile.   
The horrid pain stopped just as suddenly as it came. Yunho raised his head from San’s neck, licking his blood stained teeth and lips.   
“Fuck...you're disgusting, look at you, how were we ever friends” with those last words, Yunho left. Leaving behind a panting, crying, pained San on the floor to pick up the pieces of his broken self, just as he had countless times before.

….  
"You're going WHERE???" Yeosang screeched, surprise and terror clear on his voice.  
“I-I’m sorry.. I already agreed and I really can’t say n-“  
“Stop it! For Gods sake San you can’t keep doing this to yourself! She’s hurting you and you just fucking bear with it and let her do as she likes. You already know how I feel about Sohee but now this??”

Something about hearing San say that really ticked Yeosang off "You can't just put yourself in a potentially triggering situation. I'm saying this for your own good. Plus, honestly San, is she even worth it?" Said Yeosang with a stern yet caring voice.  
Yeosang didn't quite know the details of San's history with Seonghwa, but he felt sure that it was a sexually manipulative relationship. He tried to open San's eyes to it. Yet he never seemed ready to accept that Park Seonghwa, the man he admired so much, didn't have his best interests at heart.

He knew that San had developed a strange relationship with sex after everything that happened. Yeosang never voiced this thought, but he felt like sex in a twisted way was like a form of self-harm to San. 

Yeosang placed his palm on San's shoulder "She's hurting you Sannie. You saw the pictures of last weeks party, didn't you?"

San kept silent. Of course he had. All of his friends showed them to him, his girlfriend leaving the party early, skimpily dressed and at least a bit tipsy, in some guys arms.  
"I talked to her about it.. she was it was just a misunderstanding.. I can't just.. break up with her over it.."

"Of course you can, no, you should! She left the party with some guy, people literally caught them feeling each other up while there. San, she's not faithful. She's already hurting you and now she asks for this?"

San hung his head low. He knew his friends were right, yet.. yet he couldn't bring himself to say no to her.

She asked him to go to a Play Party. A BDSM event. In and of itself the thought of it didn’t seem too bad, but these kinds of parties hosted by this particular person were notorious for their incredibly unsafe practices. San was aware of it, he’d heard the stories of the drunken orgies, the red rooms, the camming, even some alleged assault cases. It was the kind of environment that made him the most uncomfortable, and both of them were very aware of that. To say San was worried was an understatement, and the fact that she asked him to go to a party like that in and of itself was a red flag. He knew, he knew of all of that yet the desperation he felt to build a solid relationship didn’t allow him to say no..

"Sannie, you don't have to go through with it if it makes you uncomfortable. Talk about it with her"  
"I can't.."  
San couldn't tell him, but he knew well that to Sohee, he was replaceable. He was replaceable, but he needed her, at least now. San couldn’t explain it, but lately he didn’t feel like himself unless he was there to warm someone’s bed. Sohee was currently that someone for him. 

A warm feeling engulfed him, it took him a second to realize that Yeosang had hugged him. "I just don't want you to be hurt.. I understand that you have a bit of a hard time opening up about what's worrying you, and it's okay. I won't pressure you to talk, I just want you to be safe and happy."  
“I know, Sangie.. I know that you care about me and that you want the best for me. I trust you but, you have to understand I can’t get out of this… Not now.. I need her, I can’t explain to you why but I can’t let go, not right now…  
And the disappointment San saw on his best friends face will forever be etched in his brain. Knowing that he caused Yeosang so much pain, deeply hurt him.

…  
“Are you sure he’ll show up? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to come to places like this.” Asks Wooyoung. He, Seonghwa, Yunho and Mingi were currently in their car, driving to Jacksons house for the party.   
Seonghwa takes a deep inhale from his cigarette. “Yeah. He will.”   
“Okay but like, how are you so sure? Like Youngie said, it doesn’t look like his kind of scene.” Chipped in Mingi  
Seonghwa laughed “Sohee asked him to come. There’s no way he’ll say no.”  
“Oi, speaking of her-“interrupted Mingi “What’s up with those two? Like, why are they even together? Despite all the shit you’ve done with him, he seems like a pretty wholesome guy, and she’s like, the biggest slut on campus. They don’t match at all.”  
“Yeah exactly! She treats him like a shiny toy to show off and he always looks really awkward when she does that.” Agrees Wooyoung.  
Throughout this conversation, Yunho remained silent, preferring drinking vodka straight from the bottle over talking about this. His mind was all over the place, thinking about what would happen that night, what he would do, what his friends would end up doing to San...  
“Hm.. Would you like to know? How those two got together?” Mingi and Wooyoung both nodded furiously.   
“She was dared to date a queer guy for a month. She agreed and asked for suggestions, said she’d ‘prefer a bottom’ to get the full experience. So I gave her a little push towards our boy Sannie..” a smirk tugged the edges of Seonghwas lips “She loved it, happy to ‘turn a good boy into her bitch’, too bad someone’s already beat her at that game.” He paused to take a long drag from his cigarette “As for San. He’s with her for the sex. He doesn’t sleep around the way Sohee does, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to be an addict.”   
Yunho’s head shot up, eyebrows knitted together in suppressed anger. Amused by his reaction, Seonghwa giggled before continuing “He has…issues, regarding his mental health and personal life I mean. He likes getting hurt, in and outside of bed. He wants to be broken emotionally and physically and put back together again. He wants to be told cruel things, to feel pain, to be treated like scum that doesn't so much as deserve to breathe.“ He turned to look at Yunho from over his shoulder “Kinda like how you made him feel. I guess, overtime he started to believe he deserved to be mistreated.”   
“He’s not one to open up about his feelings, so I… trained him to seek comfort through sex. After he’s hurt, he wants to be held, coddled and protected like a porcelain doll. He wants to feel cared for... It’s a delicate balance that Sohee can’t really keep. The first step is pain. She’s a cruel dom, no doubt giving him the pain that he craves, but not enough care.”  
If you think about it, it’s kinda fucked up. He couldn’t cope with the pain you put him through, couldn’t accept his best friend was an asshole and rather turned to blaming himself. Now he’s addicted to this cycle of pleasure and pain.”  
Seonghwa smiled brightly while looking at Yunho “A cycle that you and I beat and fucked into him”  
The glass bottle in Yunhos hand shattered “Shut the fuck up. I’m not a fucking chess piece for you to play mind games with. I don’t give a fuck about Choi San, both of you can die right now for all I care.” He hit the back of Seonghwa’s seat before shoving his headphones in, effectively blocking them out.  
Wooyoung and Mingi were left in shock “Hyung.. wasn’t that too much?” asked their second youngest.   
“Hm? Not at all, I’m just making sure he’s all riled up and sticks to his part.”  
“Yes but.. Hyung this doesn’t feel okay anymo-“Wooyoung was interrupted by the oldest “Do you want to fuck San or not?” Wooyoung was surprised by the sudden outburst, but nodded none the less.   
“Then do as I say.”

…  
It took less than 30 minutes for San to start freaking out.  
Sohee was beaming with happiness when she saw him, squealing and giving him a hard kiss on the cheek “You look so fucking pretty Sannie, wanted to be my perfect little accessory for tonight, didn’t you?” she said, to which San laughed sheepishly.   
San had put effort into making himself as attractive as possible. He wore a loose, see though black button up shirt, the top few buttons of which were left undone. His pale skin and pink nipples showed through the fabric. On top of it he wore a lace up corset belt, which accentuated his waist. His tiny shorts put his pale legs on display, which were adorned by fishnets and high boots. His makeup was a bit more natural; the subtle pink eyeshadow and blush kept his face looking clean and innocent. He looked ravishing, Sohee couldn’t wait to show him off. She didn’t really care much about him, but having a cute little twink wrapped around her finger sure had its benefits.   
“There’s something missing though-“she said. She pulled a collar and a leash out of her bag, swiftly putting it on San, letting the chain dangle down his chest. “Have you worn any jewelry? If you have, it would be better for you to take it off.” She started inspecting his wrists and then noticed his earrings. Two dangling ones and two studs, one of the studs being significantly more simple than the other. “Take them off”   
San was startled “Huh?” She sighed “People get rough, you might get your ear lobes ripped out” Following her advice, San took off his earrings and handed them over to her. He hesitated when it came to the simple black stud “Can I… Can I keep this one on? I never take this off…”   
She sighed “Fine, I guess studs are harder to grab anyway. Okay, let’s go!” She grabbed him by the leash and lead him inside Jacksons house.  
So, there he was, on the living room with Sohee and her friends. He found out that his daring choice of outfit wasn’t nearly as risky as some of the clothes other people were wearing, or their lack of clothing, to be more precise. Some of Sohees friends had taken quite an interest in San, while a few others were nagging Sohee to leave so they can get some fun of their own.  
“Come onnn let’s go get a drink, we haven’t seen each other for ages!!” insisted one of her girl friends. “Hm.. and leave my pretty baby all alone?” She replied, throwing a hand over Sans shoulder and grabbing his cheeks.   
“He won’t be alone, the guys will take care of him, right? Chipped in another friend, a few of the guys nodded. San, who didn’t like the idea of being left with people he didn’t know (especially creepy half naked guys) wasn’t very pleased. Sohees friend put her lips close to her ear, whispering “Plus, I hear that Yunho’s coming tonight” her eyes instantly lighted up and a smirk found its way to her lips.   
“Okaaay.. Since you’re insisting..” Said Sohee, standing up from her spot in the couch next to San. Instantly he panicked. San grabbed onto her skirt, looking up at her with pleading, tear filled eyes. His lip quivered, and without saying anything Sohee understood what the problem was, but the thing is, she couldn’t care less. She was going to find Yunho and there was no way he’d change her mind. She connected her lips with Sans in an aggressive kiss and pushed his chest, effectively pinning him to the couch.   
“Stay here puppy, don’t come looking for me.” She stood up and promptly left.   
He heard a giggle and suddenly felt a warm body to his right. One of Sohees guy friends had sat next to him. “Aww look at him, he’s blushing from a kiss, isn’t he precious?” the guy said while pinching Sans cheeks. He heard a few words of approval coming from the men and women surrounding him (although mostly men)  
San closed his eyes and curled up his legs closer to his chest, in an attempt to withdraw his body from the foreign touch.  
"Oh? Are you feeling shy, baby?" Said some woman. "In that case, what exactly are you doing here? Why are you even with Sohee, surely you know her reputation, right?" The woman sat on San's other side, pressing her face closer to Sans and leaving a long, languid lick from his jaw line to his earlobe. He trembled, he didn't know how many people were surrounding him. He closed his eyes and felt his heart beat quicken at the sound of numerous voices speaking about him over the loud bass of the music.  
"Fuck.. She really lucked out this time.."  
"What a pretty little fuck doll he is"  
"He looks so innocent, why is he even here."  
"Innocent? Look at him, bet he's a total cock slut, he's just getting off on acting all shy."  
San felt a hand on his cheek. "Tell me little kitty, have you even sucked dick before? Or is this get up just for show?"  
Tears started rolling down his cheeks.  
He felt the hand that was previously on his cheek get slapped away, now replaced with a rougher touch. The new male grabbed onto Sans chin and opened his mouth with his thumb.  
"No fucking way this hasn't been used before" He puts two fingers in Sans mouth, who in turn closed his tear filled eyes, trying to relax to the foreign touch.  
He felt those fingers slide deep down his throat. All of a sudden it was really quiet around him. Those fingers moved around, thrusting in shallowly, pushing against his adams apple, dragging against the roof of his mouth, as if investigating the cavern that was his mouth.  
"Fuck.. he doesn't gag.." The man took his fingers out, this time, pulling San's tongue out.   
He was a sight to see, drool dripping down his chin, flushed, tear stained cheeks, and his tongue dangling out "Bet this would feel so good wrapped around my dick" Said the man, accenting his words with a tap to his tongue.   
Suddenly, the man straightened up, his crotch ending up right in front of Sans face. He looked up at the other, completely frozen by fear, only reacting when he saw the man pulling down his zipper. “No..N-no get away from me-“  
San didn’t know what to do. He felt dirty, he didn’t know what to say and he..

“HEY! Leave the guy alone, he’s obviously not into it.” Said a sharp, loud voice.  
The small crowd around him momentarily distracted themselves from San, now turning to see the loud newcomer.   
“Ah, Wooyoung-ah, no need to make a fuss about this, that’s Sohee’s new toy, it’s not like she’d mind.” San felt his stomach turn at their words. Wooyoung? The sweet guy he shared classes with? No no no.. He can’t see him like this…

Suddenly, he was pulled up, an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, a hand holding his head against a strong chest.   
“The hell? He’s his own person, and he’s obviously not into this scene, leave the poor guy alone, he’s fucking shaking.”  
The men around them groaned collectively “You know Wooyoungie, if you wanted to have a go at him first, you should have just asked.” One by one, they started leaving, finally letting San alone with Wooyoung. 

“Are you okay? They didn’t try anything with you, did they?” his tone of voice really surprised San, he didn’t expect him to sound this concerned.   
“I-I’m fine..” His eyes were fixated on the floor, not daring to look up.  
“Let’s get out of here, the place is getting too crowded” Wooyoung led him to the garden by the hand. There were still a lot of people there, but at least he was away from the sweaty bodies, the loud music and the smell of weed that was suffocating him inside.   
San took a deep breath, allowing himself to calm down. He looked at his savior with a smile  
“Thank you for getting me out of there”  
“It’s nothing, you looked really uncomfortable, so I thought, maybe I should jump in”  
“I’m glad you did that, Wooyoung-ssi”  
“Please, Wooyoung-ah is just fine. I don’t like it when people are too formal with me. Can I call you San-ah?”   
San nodded, happy with the quick connection he made with the other.  
“So, what brings you here?” asked Wooyoung  
San rubbed his neck, feeling slightly uncomfortable having to explain his situation "Well.. I came here with my girlfriend, but she kinda disappeared on me and asked me not to look for her."

Wooyoung hummed, as if he wasn't already aware of the detail. "Hm, I see.. Lovers quarrel? Something of the sort?" San nodded again.  
"Well, do you wanna drink to it? Hang out with me and forget about your girlfriend?" Wooyoung asked reassuringly, placing a hand on his shoulder and smiling the way an old friend would. San fell for it.

…  
They headed back inside. The music was much louder than before, and the smell of musky sweat seemed even stronger. It didn't surprise San one bit that a house that big had what looked a proper bar inside it. He took a seat next to Wooyoung and let him order for the both of them, trusting the other to get something that wasn't too strong. He'd already had a few shots, he wasn't feeling tipsy, but he wasn't quite crisp either.  
"Are you good at holding your liquor?" Asked Wooyoung. "I'm not sure, I've never really tested my limits.. I kinda just stop when I start to feel it getting to me"  
"Oh, that's very respectable of you, I trust you'll do the same now?" Wooyoung really hoped so, Seonghwa had told him to get some drinks in the other, but not get him wasted. He wanted San to be aware of what he was doing.

Time passed like that, with the two of them drinking and chatting. Turns out they had quite a bit in common, they had similar thoughts, similar hobbies, it kinda surprised both of them. That in addition to them finding each other attractive lead to both of them having a lot more fun than they expected.  
San was leaning against the counter, head resting against his arm, looking up at Wooyoung with what he could only describe as an angelic smile. This is it, now's the time.  
"Hey, Sannie?"  
"Yes?"  
"Don't look but, there's a couple having sex behind you right now"  
San's face fully displayed his surprise and discomfort. Immediately he turned around to look and, sure enough, there they were, going at it just a few meters away from him.  
San took this chance to look around, he was so into his conversation with Wooyoung, that he hadn’t noticed how the rooms atmosphere had completely changed.  
First thing that he noticed were the borderline naked bodies dancing together. There were people fucking in almost every flat surface he saw. The room was filled with smoke that he'd barely noticed until then. He felt a deep blush creep onto his cheeks when he turned back around, facing Wooyoung. He scooted closer to the other, curling up underneath Wooyoung's chin in a subconscious attempt to hide away from his surroundings.   
Wooyoung let his hand slip from San's hair to his waist, pulling him even closer to himself. "Would you.. like to go somewhere a bit more private?"  
San looked up at the other, somehow, even though his slightly dazed-out condition, he understood what the other was implying.  
"Won't you let me, Sannie? Won't you let me touch you?"  
An all too familiar heat started pooling in Sans abdomen.  
He gulped, letting his eyes travel down Wooyoung's body. The crop top he wore put his abs on full display, the suspenders over it adding an extra touch. His leather pants accentuated his thick, muscular thighs and San just couldn't take his eyes off of him. He wanted to say yes, so fucking badly. Yet, he couldn't.  
He lowered his head, making himself as small as possible  
"I'm sorry Wooyoung-ah.. I can't do it.. I have a girlfriend.. I can't do that to her.."  
Wooyoung sighed.. Yeah, he was expecting him to say that, exactly as Seonghwa predicted.  
"Your girlfriend.. are you sure she's as loyal to you as you are to her?"  
San thought about it for a moment, she was, wasn't she? Sure, neither one of them really loved the other, but they were together because of a mutual agreement. He had faith and, some sort of affection for her, enough for him not to cheat. And even on top of all the rumors he heard, he still wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Quite frankly, he had grown somewhat attached to her. 

"Yeah.. I, I think so.."  
"You think so?" Wooyoung repeated, not too pleased. He grabbed San's shoulder, turning him around and pulling him to his feet. He used his other hand to point at a crowd of people, gathered up around something and cheering loudly.

"Sannie, isn't that your girlfriend?"   
The crowd opened up a narrow pathway for the two to pass through and…  
San's heart dropped, he started to shake and his eyes widened. He almost couldn't believe the scene in front of him.  
Jeong Yunho. He held his girlfriend up against the wall, kissing her aggressively. Her hands were tangled up in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to herself. One of his hands was on her waist and the other was on her thigh, holding her legs opened. San could see her thin panties soaking through as Yunho dry humped her. The crowd around them cheered them on. San was frozen, unable to look away. For a split moment his and Yunhos eyes met, the other's his eyes void of any emotions while all the darkest feelings swam through Sans. Yunho pushed her higher against the wall and lifted his hand up, slowly pulling off the black tape that covered one of her nipples. He took her perky nipple in his mouth, sucking on it tenderly. San didn't move, even as she moaned his name loud enough for everyone to hear. He didn't move even as Yunho took her underwear off, grinding his still clothed cock on her naked pussy. He didn't move when she looked at him and smirked.

A strong hand gripped his shoulder, then all too suddenly, San felt two warm arms around his body, hugging him.  
"I told you didn't I, Sannie? She's no good" said an all too familiar voice. There was no way San wouldn't be able to recognize it. He turned around, shoving his face in the taller mans chest. As his tears spilled, he clutched onto the others shirt like it was the only think keeping him in check with reality. He cried, as loudly and as desperately as he could, his emotions no longer controllable. "H-Hyung-you were right-*hick* hyung p-please help-help me..Hyung please, Seong-*hick*-h-hwa hyung please, make it s-stop"  
A warm, gentile hand caressed San's hair as his tears soiled Seonghwas shirt.  
"Of course, baby...Everything will be okay"

...  
(Seonghwas POV)  
He couldn’t believe it, he almost couldn’t believe it. All this planning and now he had San back in his arms again. Minutes from now he’d have his legs spread of him, and it would be a matter of days from now that San would become his. Ultimately, undisputedly, his.  
"H-hyung-you were right-*hick* hyung p-please help-help me..Hyung please, Seong-*hick*-h-hwa hyung please, make it s-stop"  
Seonghwa felt a smile creeping up to his lips as he took a whiff of the scent of Sans hair. That's right, hold on to me, I’m all you have in this world. I’m the only one who cares about you.  
His hands tingled as he wrapped them around the others waist. His heartbeat quickened, blood ran south filling up his cock at the feeling of Sans tears seeping past the thin material of his shirt and onto his bare skin. He did it, he broke San again.

"Of course, baby...Everything will be okay.”   
Everything will be okay once you’re fully dependent on me again, and this time, I won’t let you go.   
“Baby, would you like it if a friend joined our play?”   
“I don’t care.. I don’t care who joins us as long as H-Hyung’s there”  
That’s exactly the answer I expected

…  
San found himself on his hand and knees, his head resting against Seonghwas thigh. He was still quivering, seeing that he was still crying over how hurt he felt. He cried comfortably as   
Wooyoung couldn't take his eyes off of the scene in front of him.  
"Baby...l told you she'd hurt you, didn't I?"  
San nodded.  
"So, what do you want to do now?"  
"…make me forget"  
Seonghwa smiled, replying with a curt "we will". He gently took hold of san’s body, pushing his stomach down so that it touched the mattress, spreading his knees and raising his hips high. He licked his lips, already feeling all his blood go south. He bent himself over San, softly touching the others ear with his lips.   
"You used to be such a good boy for me, weren’t you? Always so eager to please me…Won't you let me show you off again? Show off what a perfect little angel I have under me?   
San nodded, feeling too desperate to go against any of the others wishes. He just wanted to get railed to the point where he’d even forget his own name.   
All too suddenly, Seonghwa grabbed a hold of the youngers soft behind and spread his cheeks apart, effectively showing off the youngers hole to Wooyoungs hungry eyes.   
“Won’t you beg for him, baby boy? Tell Wooyoung how much you want his cock inside you.”  
San didn’t need to be told twice, and the starved look in the youngest’s eyes gave him all the motivation needed to let those deliciously filthy words slip past his lips "W-wooyoungie.. p-please fuck me? Pretty please? I-I need you inside me, please.."

Wooyoung had never been this turned on his entire life  
For a moment, Wooyoung became fully enamored with San's behind. He played with his round cheeks, slapped them as hard as he could and saw them turn red. He grinded his now naked cock on the others behind, the tip of his cock catching on the rim of the others hole."Damn.. look at you, bet half the guys back there would cum on the spot if they saw you like this"  
San's face grew impossibly redder. He hid his face on the crook between Seonghwas pelvis and his right leg. He felt Wooyoung's fingers against his sensitive hole, trying to enter dry.  
As if on cue, Seonghwa takes out a bottle of lube and throws it over to Wooyoung, but not before coating his own fingers in the substance. He felt Wooyoungs fingers slowly enter him. San's cheek rested on top of Seonghwas thigh, far too close to his cock. The older could feel his ex-lovers wet breath on his bare skin, and it nearly drove him feral. Soon enough, Seonghwa pushed two lubed up fingers inside San's mouth. The younger was a bit taken aback, until he recognized the familiar taste of the substance in his mouth. It was a flavor he'd grown used to, seeing as it was the only flavor of lube Seonghwa would buy for them in high school. It brought back memories of their old sexual encounters, and it turned him on more than anything had that night. San moaned around the others fingers, eagerly sucking on his fingers. He almost felt disappointed when Seonghwa took his fingers out.

San followed Seonghwa's hand with his eyes, seeing it grab onto the bottle of lube and drizzle some of it on the oldest hard cock. Seonghwa wrapped a hand around himself and pumped himself slowly, all whilst looking at a desperate San, who's mouth was drooling mere inches away from his cock. He knew the other's oral fixation would kick in soon, he knew he couldn't resist.

And it was true, San felt drool dripping from his chin down his neck as he looked up at the others cock, making it look impossibly bigger. He felt it's heat against his cheek. He wanted it shoved so far down his throat that he wouldn't be able to breathe, yet he wouldn't dare touch his beloved without his permission.

That's when Wooyoung decided to be mean and hit San's prostate as hard as he could with his fingers. San moaned, loudly. His tongue rolled out and he couldn't help but take a tentative lick of the gorgeous meat in front of him. Seonghwa giggled, finally allowing the other to taste him properly. He shoved his tip inside San's mouth, letting him roll it around his mouth before cruelly taking it away. The poor thing below them whimpered from the loss, and really, Seonghwa did have a soft spot for him.

He slowly dragged his cock against the younger boy's cheek "Aww baby.. you know what, if you promise to be a good boy and let Wooyoung fuck you, I'll let you get a taste of cock, how about that?" San couldn't have agreed faster, and Seonghwa wrapped a hand around his reddened, dripping cock. 

San, sweet little San looked at the orders cock with so much desire, so much desperation that he could feel the lust spreading through his entire body. He gave it the gentlest of kisses before slowly starting to lap up the sweet substance fr9m the mans beautiful cock. "C-can I suck on it a little..?" The younger asked, and what kind of psycho would Seonghwa be to deny him.

It was then when Wooyoung decided to pull San's attention back on him. After loosening him up properly, he was ready to enter. He wasn't planning to be nearly as kind or as patient as Seonghwa was being right now, so he shoved himself fully inside the other without warning. San screamed, surprised from the sudden stimulation. Fuck, it was gonna be hard to concentrate on pleasuring both of them..

After getting a confirmation from San that he had adjusted to the others girth, Wooyoung started thrusting deeply inside the other. It didn't take him long to pick up the speed, thriving off of the pleasure San's tight body gave him.

All of a sudden, San let out a loud scream of pleasure. His whole body jerked up as he grabbed on to the bed sheets below him. Wooyoung knew he'd hit the others sweet spot, and he kept going at that pace, doing his best to keep hitting that spot again and again, until he felt San cumming for him.

San was a bit out of it, feeling desperate to have something inside his mouth and cum already. Without a warning, he launched forward and swallowed half of Seonghwa's length down his throat. The oldest grabbed him by his hair and lifted his head up and off of his cock, his lips barely touching the tip. San fought to get his mouth on it again, sticking his tongue out and moaning desperately for Seonghwa.

The oldest shushed him, telling him to "play nice and listen to hyung"  
Meanwhile, Wooyoung had fully given into his core instinct, chasing after the melting warmth that was San's body. He wrapped a hand around the other and grabbed onto his cock, jerking him off at the same pace of his thrusts. San could feel that both of them were close. "Fu-fuck.. You feel amazing San, wish I could stay inside you forever, I want you so bad.." moaned the youngest. He sped up his thrusts, becoming erratic and losing control of himself as he chased his orgasm. He moaned on San's ear, jerking him off as fast as he could, fully intending on making San cum with him. Seconds after, Wooyoung came hard inside San. And San saw stars, the heat of the other spilling into him driving him over the edge.

San let out a cry of frustration when he felt something rip away that pleasure from him. It was Seonghwa. He'd twisted himself around and gripped San's cock as hard as he could, effectively denying the poor thing his much awaited orgasm. San shivered in his arms, tears spilling from the pain that suddenly spread through his body. It hurt, it hurt so badly and yet he couldn't be mad at Seonghwa, not when he pet his cheek so lovingly. "Shh baby.. you're fine, you're okay.." He gently raised San's head up, locking eyes with the small man beneath him. "Baby, do you know why I stopped you?" San shook his head 'no'. The gesture made the oldest tsk "Have you forgotten our rule? No matter who we play with, I'll be the only one that makes you come" The possessiveness in the eldest's voice send shivers down both of their bodies. Wooyoung gently pulled out of San, mesmerized by the sight that was his now wet and puffy hole dripping a mixture of lube, spit and cum.

San looked over his shoulder, eyes fixed on Wooyoung's now soft cock. He licked his lips and gave the youngest a look of lust and desperation. "Wooyoungie, you've made such a mess of yourself.." he rolled out his tongue, tapping on it with his index finger "Please let ne clean you up?" Wooyoung felt himself growing hard again.

They changed their positions, San now on his back with his head turned to the right side, lips meeting Wooyoung's cock. Seonghwa dropped a black box on the bed before finding his place between San's legs. "Sannie.. How long has it been since you've gotten fucked properly?" And San somehow had it in himself to blush bright red. "It's.. it's been a while..". The eldest smirked "Does Sohee not fuck you well enough? Well there's only so much you can expect from a strap-on.. You always did like toys though, so, lets make this play a little bit more exciting. Would you like that, kitty?" San felt a deep heat churn his insides. He nodded "Yes, master.. I'd like that a lot.."

…

Not to long after the trio left, Yunho and Sohee were left to grind their way into one of the many empty rooms. The sounds of collective moans and hollers cheered them on, but Yunho couldn't shake off the emptiness he felt. Sohee didn't waste any time to get naked as soon as the door shut behind them.

"You're fucking nasty, you know that?" Yunho spit out, to which Sohee giggled and replied with a cutesy "What ever do you mean by that?"  
He couldn't describe the disgust he felt.  
"San, he saw us. He's fucking heartbroken because of you but it's clear that you're too much of a whore to care." Sohee groaned "Oh come on Yunnie, it's not like he's all that. He's replaceable . Besides, from what I've heard it's not like you care about him either, so shut up and don't spoil the mood"

She took off her bra and starts working on unzipping his pants. "Ugh, I can't stand him sometimes. He's such a fucking sensitive crybaby. And he's so useless in bed, can't even use his tiny dick properly."

She took his cock out, noticing that even after all that action, it was completely flaccid.  
"Wow, for how excited you were earlier I didn't expect you to be so difficult today" She spit on his cock and started jerking him off.

"You know, sometimes l wonder if his hole is all he's good for. He loves it when I peg him. That fucking pain slut." Yunho's nerves were on edge, he didn't know how much of this conversation he could handle. Sohee kept fisting his cock, yet despite it, it remained flaccid.  
"He's always begging to be smacked around. Oh by the way, I took his actual virginity. Isn't that awesome, I deflowered a fag!" She said excitedly before lowering her head to take his cock in her mouth.

By this point, Yunho had had enough. He grabbed her hair and pushed her away from him. "H-hey! What the hell Yun-"  
"I'm leaving, and I don't want to see you again. Useless bitch, can't even get me hard" with those last words, he fixed his pants and left the room.

He walked around the house aimlessly, running his shaking fingers through his hair "I can't do this, I can't fucking do this, not for Sohee, not for Wooyoung and especially not for Seonghwa" He mumbled.

He sighed loudly and let his body slide down the wall, falling to the ground with a muffled thud. No matter what, he just couldn't make sense of the frustration he felt.  
"Fuck.. I hate him, I hate him.. but, the thought of anyone touching him makes my blood boil." He couldn't explain the possessiveness he felt over San. And that's when it hit him. Through all his suppressed emotions, in an odd moment of clarity he finally realized..  
"I want him."

...  
"Oh, they're probably in one of the rooms upstairs" said Mingi, slurring his words under the effect of everything he drank.

Following that advice, Yunho kept checking rooms until he finally stumbled upon the right one. He wasn't sure why the sight in front of him surprised him so much, he shouldn’t have expected anything different..


End file.
